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Blog : THE OFFICIAL FFX-2 DRINKING GAME

January 17, 2008

WARNING: If you are not old enough to drink, do not play this game. Alcohol WILL make you sleepy, and you WILL be late for work. Alcohol is NOT a joke, even if it comes in a bottle with a funny name. You have been warned. Everybody else? Uncork the single-malt; it’s gonna be a long night.

WELCOME TO THE UNOFFICIAL FINAL FANTASY X-2 DRINKING GAME RULES WEBSITE!!!
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This has been road-tested by all four members of the Polybius running crew, both before and after New Years’. I floated the idea past everyone once it became clear that we would all be in the same area at the same time, and everyone groaned, but then we did it anyway. This is how I assume this game ever gets purchased: Nobody can think of a better bad idea.

NOTE: It is important not to drink every time somebody groans. You are going to groan a lot.

- Every time you see Y-R-P: TAKE A SHOT.
- Every time you see a clumsily-framed Yuna fanservice upskirt: TAKE A SHOT.
- Whenever you re-notice LeBlanc’s impossible simultaneous side- and under-boob dress setup1: TAKE A SHOT.
- Whenever Brother’s antics become completely insufferable: TAKE A SHOT.

Congratulations! You have died of stage five renal failure. For 100% drinking game completion, please see these additional tasks:

- When the grimace-inducing interjection “Poopy!” is used in full seriousness: double that grimace with a BIG OL’ SHOT of bitters.
- Whenever you realize you fucked up following the 100% completion FAQ and have to reload — perhaps because you’ve been drinking constantly for six hours: TAKE THAT SHOT.
- When you notice that Yuna appears to have gotten a big old memorial titty tat in the shape of Tidus’s pants-lacing: GROUP WATERFALL.
- When Yuna, Paine and Rikku have a sexy romp in a hot springs, and when you realize that this romp is usually glossed over, but you just HAD to get 100% completion and your STUPID REWARD is a bunch of EMBARRASSING COMPUTER TITTY2: Oh, just slug from the bottle.
- When the game becomes a vehicle for you and your friends to drink and listen to hot jams and grind on each other because you’re sufficiently frustrated with the whole venture because JESUS CHRIST: Well at this point I think we just rolled around on each other and then played Guitar Hero III, but I figure at this point the game actually becomes a sandbox game, so go nuts.

POLYBIUS LOVES YOU IN 2008. KEEP HOPE ALIVE

1 DID YOU KNOW: Gene Roddenberry takes several degrees of credit for the popularization of the underboob, claiming that it was the sexiest part of the body they could sneak past the censors on a lady alien. Can you even imagine having to solve that problem?

2 HELLO FOLKS, YUNA RIKKU AND PAINE HERE

DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A NEARLY UNFATHOMABLE AMOUNT OF HORRIBLE COMPUTER PORN OF US ON THE INTERNET. THAT IS WHY THERE ARE VERY FEW PICTURES IN THIS ARTICLE. DEPRESSED NERDS, PLEASE STOP USING MAYA 3 TO RENDER VULVAS. THANK YOU.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 17th, 2008 at 1:14 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “THE OFFICIAL FFX-2 DRINKING GAME”

  1. Jess Says:

    Whenever Yuna pauses awkwardly because she must constantly refer to Tidus without using his name (because in your game you named him BALLZ) - TAKE A SHOT

  2. frank lantz Says:

    New Games Alcoholism at its finest.

  3. Blog Web World | GameSetLinks: Hero’s Journey To Saturn Says:

    […] Polybius » Blog Archive » THE OFFICIAL FFX-2 DRINKING GAME ‘Whenever Brother’s antics become completely insufferable: TAKE A SHOT.’ […]

  4. elizabeth Says:

    UPDATE: I think we should substitute Malört for bitters, because it is poopy.

    Also, now that there are five of us, clearly we have to get together to play this again. Power Rangers costume party, anyone?

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