So, apparently, back in the young heady days of the internet, or 1999, whichever is earlier, there was a simple flash game called Elf Bowling1 released as a demo for the services of the viral-marketing-through-games company NStorm. The entire premise behind this game is a cheesed off Santa2 showing the elf union who’s boss through […]

Being a king is probably terrible. Sure, the will of the people is a reflection, for better or worse, of your whim; sure, you can claim to be directly descended from the gods and state that your word and law are divine. But most of the time that just spells frumpy. Am I right? After […]

The only console I own which hasn’t been made redundant with time (sorry, Playstation 1) is the Game Boy Advance1. This is partially due to my frustration with paying more than $30 for a video game, my own knowledge of gaming economics be damned2, and partially due to my abiding love of the sprite, but, […]

Having played through Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow (or, more accurately, backseat-drove through a playthrough), I knew there was something about the game that bugged me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it until tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, I reveal a well-hidden Konami secret to you:

Yoko Belnades is Liz Phair.
That explains a lot, doesn’t […]

Oh, Internet, what baffles me is that shit like gogo Happy & Smile isn’t ripped directly out of the developers’ hands moments after birth, caul still wrapped around the face, to be ported immediately onto a console or handheld and sold with twenty bucks knocked off the market price. I mean, was Viewtiful Joe really […]