You know, my apartment just got a copy of Guitar Hero and now I find out it’s going to be usurped as Best Party Game Ever by this DDR clone which lets you pick your own music. Sometimes developers are like magic ponies, nudging open my bedroom door and rubbing their forelocks on my cheek as I sleep, whispering, “Don’t worry, dude, someday somebody will make a rhythm game that directly appeals to your love of Monster Rancher choose-your-own-CD gimmick and your love of shitty dance music.” If this thing ever actually hits shelves I might accidentally regain trust in modern game developers, and then what?

Even better than throwing in songs which will obviously make the game insanely fun might be the promise of watching the game try to parse something totally ridiculous, like “Windowlicker” or some microtonal drone piece. “Oh hey I just got the White Mice CD.” “Oh, you mean that grind record with an oscillator instead of a guitar?” “Yeah I was thinking we could try and dance to it.” And then the game sort of weakly paws at it, gives up, and asks you to just stand on all four pads for the duration of the song while floating a 3D middle finger behind the arrows.

All of the other bells and whistles they’re promising sound equally great, too (including possibly the only justifiable reason to own an EyeToy, since you’re already hopping around like a jerk and why not just wobble your arms around too, Henry?) and basically I am planning around owning this once it hits. Still waiting for a reason to own an Xbox 360, though. Too bad I’m not into getting called a cock-holder by sixth-graders while some choad snipes me from an alcove behind a brick wall he wallhacked into with a Gameshark. Too bad I like to have fun, with my friends.