(AP) Amherst, MA: In a pivotal development in tension between myself and the video game industry, reporters discovered yesterday that Animal Crossing: Wild World is “a totally amazing game.” On-the-scene correspondents quoted me as saying “Holy crap there’s an amazing beaver and he’s giving me a compass oh my god oh my god,” as I kicked my spindly legs with glee, ineffectually, into the air. When asked whether the components involving online play would hasten my drive behind a notional purchase of a DS and the game itself, I stated, “Shut up, I’m trying to fish here.” I then again became enraptured with the game, leaving an awkward silence in the room which on-site reporters were forced to back through in their attempts to leave the now-still apartment.